also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
