You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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