i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
