Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
