If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize