we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
