I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
