I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
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I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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