You're completely useless in the revolution.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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