is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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