I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
