My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
