If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
