You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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