i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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