i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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