Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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