cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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