what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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