i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
