im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
