i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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