No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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