If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Welp...herpes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
