i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize