would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
