Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We need to rekindle our bromance
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
