He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
