Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
