Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
