Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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