thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
