Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
