I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
one might say we're banned from that church
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
