I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
