do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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