Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize