So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
