I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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