She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
