He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
