Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
