U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
