Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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