You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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