I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize