Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
