how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
