i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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