Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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