just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
