I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
