Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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