I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
