it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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