the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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