he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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