four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
